High School

 I guess everyone has a time like this, when they haven't thought of high school in ages and one day they stumble across an old photo and their entire brain is reverted to high school mode.... It happened to me tonight. On fb of course... i just, god i was so shy and quiet and why did i havne no confidence? Why was i so strange and why did i sleep with m and why wasn't i nicer to k and b for that matter? What a great group of people, actually its funny when i see c and a together, i get scared for my life, like i feel like they would rape me or harm me, idk, they are just scary people, especially together. So i go on this trip, and then im like, have i changed? and i think god why havnt i reached out to any of these people, what have i been doing with myself? the biggest thing in my life a second ago was worrying about if netflix instant has season 4 of cake boss! No jokes. I keep thinking, i need to change! What am i doing here, really. what is my life amounting to, nothing, im so pathetic. why have i almost lost a hand and wrecked my car in the space of a couple months? what does that mean, is it the meds? Why the fuck am i on meds anyways. I have times like this, when i step back and realize how fucked and weird my life is... how can i change it? I always come back to a br, but that doesnt seem the perfect solution for this... altering your body to soothe your mind? hm... i just, i have no one to  talk to and im so pathetic and i cant do this!1! i cant.