I keep having this fantasy where i come into the pottery studio, just like I'm checking in with matt about work or something, and i have on that tight shirt i got, and jeans or maybe a nice skirt and hair and makeup impeccably done, and julian comes up and hes like wow youre dressed up where are you going and im whisper to him I have a date, and then hes yells out p has a daaaaate to the whole studio then i go to matts office and j says to matt p has a date tonight doesnt she look great? I bet that would jsut be super awkward for matt tho. Im a student, hes a teacher. im pathetic. this whole thing is pathetic. i dont actually want to have SEX with matt. that would be gross. i think im still a fifth grader in that perspective by thinking sex is gross. Ive never had a good experience with sex. i think i just want him to want me. I want to say that someone amazing liked me, i want to have that power... hm. revealing.
-s
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