Cupidity

Wanting to be beautiful, why can't I be effortlessly beautiful... the pretty girls always have friends, guys around, always, life is effortless. Getting good things is effortless. that girl is class, she is so incredibly gorgeous, people just notice her, revolve around her, her every move, word, its like gold... im kind of, over looked. im pretty sure matts asked 3 or 4 times what grade i'm in. i'm forgettable, ive accepted it. i was thinking about how matt thought i liked j... what exactly do i do to make him think that, like im curious. sure i flirt with him, but im flirting BACk, j always initiates it. so when a guy flirts childishly its normal but when a girl flirts its fucking scandalous?? what i am supposed to do, be a hard bitch like brie  and break his balls? How can you gracefully not flirt back with a guy yet still keep them interested? aka, how to you interest with guys without flirting with them? Thats the real fucking here, me and my fucking lack of social skills here, ridiculous. Ladies and Gentlemen Ive discovered why im hopeless with life, i cant talk with males without flirting. why is that bad...i just want guys, all over me, i want guysssssssss this is so hopeless....im skipping latin tomorrow to lay in bed with all these imaginary guys. have a great day world people.