No Title Seems Appropriate At This Time

Not for any bad reason, it just.....eh. i'm pretty much over matt at this point, could you tell? This poor blog isn't choked with inane rambling fantasies of mine anymore. It's a shame, my life had some sort of purpose when I liked him. My purpose now is just kind of... latin haha. I was thinking how I would if I had the patience write an erotic fantasy in latin haaaaaa so sexyyyyy. I was thinking about ben the other day. i guess i am connected to him in some way... i never think about him or that but it's there. i hope we run into each other down the road and im pretty and skinny and have a baby girl on my hip and he thinks, man, she was mine once. I had her. Part of that image though is his, incredibly handsome as usual, a beach bum with an equally incredibly pretty girlfriend, 100 time prettier than me, bleach blond, you know. Killll meee. I had a dream the other night where i went into the library, apparently for the first time, I was walking around and I saw a print out of a picture of will when he was young with the words under it, i love you. It was like in the back of the library in this obscure part, up on a beam in the ceiling, also above a doorway. I thought huh, small world/aka wills gotten around more than i thought. I went in that room, and it was like a strange study area/stacks with weird walkways, with the feel of the clark's library. I walked around and found some old cassettes, and that was it. I was writing that thing about will at cape cod the other day, so maybe that it. I have so much to say, I want to say it all out loud to someone, but i like have this weird mask over my face right now that makes it like cement and I can't move it even though I have so much inside, my feelings and my face are not connected. Jack Josnson makes me sleepy. night.