Babies

I'm just thinking about them. BABIES, HUSBAND, HOUSE, JOB, LIFE are all term that seem so incredibly far out of my reach, although I am in prime childbearing age and it's so strange that humans have made their culture so that it's normal for women to wait til late in the childbearing window to have kids. What if I want to have kids now? My kids would be the healthiest - the later I wait, the more unhealthy that have a chance of being. Mum had rob when she was 38... I guess thats pretty late... thats approximately 16 from my current age. That's a long time, looks at how incredibly far you've come as a human being in just 8 years, from the start of high school. Or even for years. A lot can happen. I just have this vision of how I want life to be, or how I realistically see it playing out: meet a guy in college (in the next 8 months? ha) become really close, both have jobs, do the living together thing, get a dog, become a super cute perfect couple, get married on the best day of my life, have kids soon after, a little girl and she's perfect, just like I was to mom and dad, and it would be in the fall because she would love fall, just like me. And I would have one other kid, and we would all be so happy together. I just want that, I want that comfort and security. Life is tough and I don't want to go it alone, which is what I have been doing in sort of a life test run, and it totally sucks. If I don't have someone in my life in the real world, I'll die. I can't be alone. I understand why girls have kids young, just so they will have someone in their life who loves them...