And I wish I gave a rats ass about it, but it's really the last thing I think about. Such a beautiful time, spring is, but it's the last thing I notice as I wallow in my pathetic-ness day after day. For example, things I accomplished this weekend: watched 100,000 clips of behind the scenes on Glee, watched half of the movie The Beach, and half of Funny Girl, read the entire book The Lady and the Unicorn, ate an entire box of cereal, drank a half a bottle of nyquill... and that is literally all I did. I'm so fucking lazy! Why don't I have any motivation? Why is it so hard for me to exercise? Why don't I like my life... and how can I let something so pathetic as being unhappy with my body get in the way of my happiness? I was looking into breast reduction last night, and it makes me queasy thinking about the actual procedure. It'd be so violating, having someone alter your body in that way. On one hand I really don't think it is right, but then I get really self conscious about my body and can totally see how a healthier looking body would improve the quality of my life. That's the thing too - usually women get breast implants and look really unnatural, and I want to make my unnatural-looking albeit natural breasts look more natural. I like to think I haven't bought into this whole modern body altering craze... but in a way, altering your body in any way is buying into it. And look at the sentence I just wrote before!!! I'm a mess that is absolutely insane to say. This is crazy.
-Summer
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