GUH.

Well it's that time of year again...
I am incredibly sick of school. Summer is a week and a half away and all I can think of is getting home and being with my family who loves me. Things are getting pretty old pretty fast here. For example, my fatty fucking roommate snores, the two strange queers who live next to me pound on the wall and scream and have gay conversations that I can hear every word of, and the kids on my floor are drunk 24/7 and also pound on my door and walls and scream. So in other words, I haven't gotten a wink of sleep in the last couple of days. I don't know why it's become more apparent now. Maybe just cause I hate everything about my life up here right now. The weather is getting nice up here, which I thought would lift my spirits, but then I tried on my summer clothes.... and I felt like shit once again. It's not like I've gained weight, but it's like the weight has redistributed itself from my thighs and ass to tummy and boobs. So i look really disproportional. I mean not really everything is just exaggerated in my eyes. I mean call me crazy but I think chicks with big thighs and asses and tits on the smaller side are super hot, whereas chicks on the opposite... not so much. Big tits look good when you don't have clothes on, but with clothes, you just look mostly gross. Thats why sluts and porn stars have big tits. And I (who am naturally well-endowed) am not a fucking slut! I hate when guys give me those looks, I thought I'd like it but I feel like such an object. I want to be respected, by men and women alike. ANYWAYS I just don't look hot in tanks and shorts and it was a real blow to my self esteem that I had work so hard building up over the winter. It's so sad that a little pathetic thing like that can ruin your good feeling. I guess I should bring that up with Carmen. sigh. Back to square fucking one.



-Summer