Contemplating things...

I wonder if it's normal that all I'm taking this long to adjust to college. I'm out of my comfort zone completely, and I keep trying to crawl back into it and get myself away from this scary new place. That's why I want to go home all the time, and keep thinking about my childhood, and talk to mom and dad more than people here. (To be fair, I tried smiling at Jackson when we passed each other yesterday, and he saw me and deliberately looked away immediately. I was like wow.)
I feel like I need some sort of life-changing experience to snap myself out of it and get myself to appreciate UVM and what it has to offer. But on the other hand, maybe I need to STOP RUNNING AWAY and deal with this. Thats why I'm in therapy after all. I need to find ways to live a happy life while still feeling comfortable, and that might mean learning to widen my comfort zone a little, or break out of it sometimes.
But gosh doesn't a trip across the country sound nice? Windows down, sunglasses on, tearing up rt. 66... Just get out. See some new stuff. Experience some new things. But... remember how I wanted to do that before, and signed up for all these trips that were actually really painful and uncomfortable?? But I've change since then haven't I? I'm not that shy little girl any more am I, I've grown, learned some pretty great life lessons. Right?
Maybe little trips to Topside by myself would quench some of the thirst. Maybe expeditions into the woods, with Rob, setting up our own shelter and finding our own food for a couple of nights... Maybe just some projects around the house.... no thats to vanilla. I need some SPICE.

More ideas for spice to come....



- Summer