Ah, yes, going over past posts when you can't sleep and have nothing else to do... I know it well. It's funny it's always such a revelation whenever I do that, here or in diaries, because I'm reminded how far I've come and how much I've grown and learned, even in a couple months. I wonder if there will ever be a point when I will stop looking back at past thoughts and feel so far removed from that person who thought them. It's uncomforting; I like things stable and consistent.
I think I've been coming to grips with my vast arsenal of dream and fantasies; such as this one of being grown up and having the perfect mind; I accept them now as things that keep me going, and are natural and dare I say healthy. They keep me going; give me something to look forward to... They are... the only thing I have.
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