dreams about matt

Thats what its gotten to... he was sugaring with dad and he came over to have some beers, i was trying to tell a story about some bears but no one listened. I went to my room for a bit and when i came back i found that everyone was in bed together, matt andd wife mum and dad.... how messed up. the women were completely naked but matt still had a t shirt and boxers. i yelled am them to stop, said how gross it is while i am still here... they stopped and were watching tv, matt was curled around mom... when i looked at him, he was sorry for me, he felt bad, embarrassed but more just sad and pity for me. poor pathetic girl. pathetic. maybe you have some control issue, he said quietly. he felt nothing foe me, HE FEELS NOTHING FOR ME, he never will he has a family. youve never felt what it feels like to be cared for genuinely and chosen over another woman, so dont think it gonna start now. How will you ever know what that feels like, with your pathetic solitary life and no ambition... im sorry, matt, that you have so have sucha messed up person in your life and i hope that i never act on it and if i do im sorry.