UGH cold season!

I'm feeling ok though, it's not getting me down to hard. It's nice to have a normal person excuse to stay inside. I did just write an kick ass essay for my mythology class! (and yes it is a saturday night!) I saw Frances Mayes posted a entry on her blog a couple days ago... it's so crazy to me that she is actually out there, actually doing those things she writes about. Seeing those pictures of Cortona and Bramasole, and not just thinking them up in my head... it's weird, and I wouldn't necessarily say a good weird. I love those books because they gave me an idea to dream about, in the context of my life, how someday I might make it there... but seeing this dream in the context of her life, with all her personal touches on it, it somehow takes away from the dream. I don't know, does that make the books worse? It isn't her job to cater to our dreams, she's writing about her life. I guess if she wanted to sell more copies though... but who knows, most people aren't like me anyways so I can't generalize. I think it gets back to my struggle with "the grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome and always wanting what I don't have. I see those pictures and I'm like no no switch the page, I don't want to see this. Because if I saw it, I would be forced to think about the reality of life there... and I don't want to because so many things would be less than perfect and right now in my head, it IS perfect. And that's why I like it, because it is perfect, my life there would be blissful and I would be so happy. It's nice to have dreams like that. They are places you can go when life, real life, gets you down. Maybe everyone's like this, they always want to be somewhere else because, like midnight in paris said, life is so unfulfilling. What if I'm like this my whole life, yikes. Will I ever be happy? Is anyone ever completely happy? It's like the guy in the movie the red violin, he found the most perfect violin ever, and he said, now what do I do? I've found it. His life goal was finished, and he was lost. Maybe people need that dream to always wish for; it keeps you going. and maybe you don;t ever realisticly have a chance of getting it. But is it also a testament to how maybe you shouldn't obsess over your dreams and try to make every single dream come true? But then, which ones do you make come true? How do you know which one will turn out good? WHAT IS THE MEAING OF LIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEE


too much cold medicine sorry.



Summer