I don't know what i'm doing here. I'm not happy, I have no motivation... I'm a good enough person, why can't something great fall into my lap and save me? Some message, gift from God? I've prayed to him many times but never a response. Never a sign he's even listening. My dad always says, if you want something, you have to make it happen yourself, no one else is looking out for you but you. Which is true, i know, but i don't want to accept it. Why can't my life be a happy fairytale? Why not? Maybe my continual quest for "happiness" and the "ideal simple life" when one can "find inner peace" is complete bs and what life is really about is trying work up the motivation to change your life. Which never happens because we all like that feeling of hopelessness you know? We love dreaming about the greener grass on the other side of the fence. Or at least I do, you know, that probably my entire problem. Jesus H. Christ I need some kind of therapist or something.
...or a knight in shining armor?
-Summer
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