Dream

Lord, my dreams....

So, my pottery teacher matt. One day before class, this girl Rachel that I've met a couple times and her pretty sweedish friend and I were laying on this mattress that was lying in the middle of our pottery room. The room is similar to the current one but it was just a little bit different… He came in and layed down with us. He was his usual nonchalant, fidgety, unconcious self, but he was saying some really suggestive things. Like how he got involved with a student once but he said it was a bad idea, but that it was hard for him not to… he would touch us casually, well just Rachel and her friend. Then Rachel and her friend got up. They were kind of hollow with no emotion. So they got up then it as just me and matt… he briefly touched my shoulder and back, just because there was nothing else to touch, but then he realized they were gone and it was me, and got up. Then when he was gone, I said to the other girls, that was the most sexual experience ive ever had with a teacher. And there like, yea hes like that. Later, after something in the middle of my dream, I come back to the studio and it's totally full except for a kick wheel, and I ask matt to come show me how to work it, cause maybe I can get him interested in me. But he blows me of and says, it’s a kick wheel. you kick it. and then sighs heavily and says fiiiiiiiiiiine ill show you. He points at some stuff then leaves, asap. 

Tthat feeling of getting rejected, im even dreaming about it now? Why aren’t my dreams happy, ones where im loved and in love? Does rejection feel better than love to me now? How sad. 

Also I dream about a lot of older guys....

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