Why Not Me?

A Judds classic. Love those gals. I remeber our old babysitter hated them for some reason. Haha.
But really: why the fuck not? I cannot figure out what I'm doing? Can someone tell me. My bestest friend from my childhood got in touch with me recently, and i was looking at her fb... she has this great boyfriend, likes the things she does, she is pretty and fit, she keeps in touch with all our old buddies from school, is friends with tons or gorgeous guys... idk. but you know? WHY NOT ME? why am I so so so alone? is it  prettiness? is it personality? Do i push people away? Am i cold? how can i be cold when all i want in this world is to be surrounded by people who love me? how can i do things i dont know about? how can a person not be fully aware of the things they say or do? do i have some sort of weird mental illness? What is going on.... I feel like this has gone on long enough. I'm so sick of this fighting with myself Sick to death.