Realizing that there is not one palace where I can let my multitude of guards down and just be myself. I think that's partly because I don't know exactly who I am, but also just because I try to act perfect to everyone, even my family. I always have told myself that home is where I can relax, but I'm not really being myself, I'm just more comfortable there, I know my surroundings and I know where i fit in. Because I feel like if I were "myself" I wouldn't be comfortable anywhere, because I've never been her before and I wouldn't know where to go. It's like, remain comfortable forever, or be uncomfortable and feel great. Be so-so in the middle or both extremes. Life's never easy.
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